What a Weekend...

I am feeling a little bit like super mom tonight! As you all know if you have been following my posts, I have been dealing with a sick baby and very sick husband ALL weekend but have managed to keep up with everything for the most part! Liam kept us up until 5 this morning screaming non stop...I literally did not get one wink of sleep until he passed out around 5am. Daneil has been running a high fever all weekend and I've been trying to load him up on Vitamins, Tylenol and liquids to bring it down. He has a low grade fever tonight and is all stopped up and has a cough that sounds horrible, but hoping he gets better soon and really hoping Liam decides to let us sleep tonight because God knows we need it! I had to get out at 2am to go buy a humidifier and some meds for Liam...it was by far, the toughest night I have experienced as a mom. This afternoon I took a little nap with Liam and got my second burst of energy...I have been cleaning the house top to bottom, went to the store and stocked up on necessities and came home, made Daneil some Chicken Noodle Soup as well as dinner for myself, washed up dishes and washed our sheets and comforter. I completed my burpees for today and just sat down to write my blog...it has been a long day, but God gave me the strength I needed to get through. Thanks to all my friends and church family for your prayers, encouragement, advice, food and meds...you are all such a blessing to us and we love you!!

Here is a home cooked meal that was made for us earlier today that was MUCH needed:

Then, I had to take a picture of my white cheddar grilled cheese with tomato bisque dinner that I made for myself tonight:

Today I was going to write about what my favorite movie is and why...I have LOTS of favorite movies...all my friends will agree that I am an avid movie watcher and love movies. I have to say that at this time, my all time favorite movie I think would have to be Madea's Witness Protection Program! IT was by far the funniest of all the Madea movies in my opinion and no matter how many times I watch it, I still laugh through the whole thing...it is definitely my top pick when I need a good laugh! :)

Well, needless to say, I am wiped and about to sit down and hopefully find something good to watch...maybe a good movie :) Here's to a good night of rest tonight and a great week ahead! 

Day 4 and 5 of January Blog Challenge

It has been one hectic first week of January for me. Liam got his first head cold that he is still overcoming and now Daneil woke up this morning with a fever and feeling horrible. He has been sleeping all day trying to feel better which has given me the opportunity to spend some much needed 1-1 time with my little prince. Liam and I have had an amazing day together today! I kept the tv off, no distractions, and just played with him. At one point, he was so tired he laid there while I massaged his feet and legs for a good 10 minutes...he didn't move, just laid there an smiled and took it all in, and those of you that know my son, he is never still! It was a sweet moment for me but he passed out on me about an hour ago for his first nap of the day, so I'm taking this time to just relax, have some "me" time and catch up on blogging for yesterday and today! :)

I believe I have written before about "one piece of advice" I would give someone, but for yesterday's post I want to write about some advice that I recently heard that has really stuck with me...it is simply...don't settle. Too many times in life we settle for less than we deserve in many areas of life. It could be as simple as settling for a meal you paid for that was not exactly what you ordered or as serious as settling for a relationship that is not for you. Life is too short to go along day to day and settle. We need to learn to realize what we truly deserve and never compromise on anything less than that. There have been many areas in my life that I have settled over the years. One good thing is that the choice to settle or not to settle is ours. If you get yourself in a situation that has caused you to settle, YOU have the power to choose whether or not to continue in that situation. With the New Year here and still fresh, I have taken the opportunity to highlight areas in my life where I have settled and decide from there what I can do to change that. Some things are harder than others, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! :) I have a few people close to my heart that are going through some tough decisions in areas of their life where they have settled and it takes a strong person to admit when you have settled and change it for the better, but in the end it is worth it. One thing I will add though is before you decide whether or not you are settling, you have to take all emotions from the situation and follow your heart and your peace...and never look back :)

For today I will write about one of my goals for this year and that is to complete the 100 Day Burpee Challenge. Some co-workers of mine told me about it and I thought, why not? Here is a link with more information on it for those of you that have never heard of it:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-pauline-lowry/join-the-100-day-burpee-challenge_b_957825.html

Today is Day 5 of the Challenge and as sad as it sounds, I already feel the burn and have some soreness in my ab area...but that means it works! I'm hoping by Day 100 to be toned and feeling good about my body again! It is definitely not going to be easy to stick to every day but I have a great support system to help encourage me to stay on track! I will keep everyone posted on my results :)

Well, I wanted to write more but I have a husband with a very high fever and a baby that is needing my full attention...until tomorrow...

Mommy Problems and Playing Catch Up

Well, Liam officially caught his first cold of his life and I must say, I never understood when my parents would say they wish they could take our sickness for us, but now that I am a parent, I can definitely relate. He had what I call "sad eyes" all day and it was so hard to see him struggle with his bottle because he couldn't breathe through his nose, and watch him sneeze multiple times, which was kind of funny because every time he would sneeze, his paci would fly across the room....oh, and I can't forget his fake cough...he let me know many times yesterday that he had a cough with his toungue out and everything haha!

On top of the cold, Liam had his 9 month doctor appointment yesterday and he had to get a shot and a heel stick. I guess because he wasn't feeling well, this was by far the worst shot experience for him. He cried and cried...usually it would last about a minute, but not this time...it broke my heart to see the tears flow too because Liam never let's them flow unless it is something serious. But, on a lighter note, other than having a head cold, he is otherwise very healthy! Growing right on track...19 pounds, 28 inches and still has a big head! haha! And even though he was overcoming, he was still all smiles (and I secretly loved the extra cuddles I got from him all day)! This was from his Doctor appointment yesterday:

 

So, that is why I was unable to blog yesterday, and had to play catch up today!

Anyways, on to my topic for today...getting back on the healthy train!

I fall off of that train quite a lot, but the important thing is, I am getting back on! I'm ready to shed some weight so I can get back to my pre pregnancy weight and start working towards making a Liam a big brother in the next several months! Many people ask me why I want to get the weight off now just to gain it back, but I want to start at the weight I started at before Liam so I don't have even more to lose after my next baby! I'm only about 12 pounds off, so if I can lose about a pound a week, which is the healthy way, I can start trying in the next 3 months...AHH...That is not far away and I have a lot of work ahead, but I can do it!! I'm going to cut out any sodas (other than my morning coffee, because I got a Keurig for Christmas and will be using it lol) and cut portions and eat low carbs. I'm also going to start juicing soon and try to exercise at least 2-3 times a week...even if it is just a brisk walk with Liam. I'm starting this 100 Burpee challenge with friends from work so that should be fun too! Looking forward to losing weight, toning and getting healthy! :)

Wish me success on this train and any encouraging words are definitely welcome!

New Year, New Dreams, New Vision...Bring on the New!

I have had a lot of people reaching out to me recently asking me when I was going to blog again and I have a few posts I started but never finished, so I decided to start another Blog Challenge for this month, because for some reason, when I challenge myself to do something, I tend to stick to it more...I don't like to fail, so I guess I just push myself to succeed when there is a challenge involved. I have really missed writing and blogging and sharing my heart so I am definitely excited to get back into it!

2012 was an amazing year in my life...we brought Liam, our precious gift from God into this world, we moved in to a brand new 4 bedroom, beautiful home, finally went on our first honeymoon which was a cruise, paid off some debt and much much more, but I know there is even more in store for 2013 and I can't wait to begin crossing some goals off my list for this year!

I am not following a "set list" for this Blog Challenge, but rather going to choose a topic I feel like writing about and write away.

Today, I want to talk about New Year's Resolutions. Every year for the past 8 years (with the exception of one), we bring in the New Year with our church family and have such a blast! During our New Year's Celebration, we sit down at about 10:30 pm and we being writing out Goals for the year rather than "resolutions". We put down everything from our Spiritual Goals, Personal, Financial, Physical, Social goals to family, Church, Personal and Miscellaneous Goals. We pray over them and then praise our way into the New Year! There is no better way to start out a year! I keep all my goals through the years and go back at the end of the year to see which goals I was able to meet and which I still need to work towards and it is amazing to see how much you can accomplish when you have vision. :)

Our church "Theme" for this year is LAUNCH, and I definitely feel like God is launching some things in my own life and my family's life so we will continue to allow God to speak to our hearts and move us in the direction he wants us.

Although 2012 was a very different year, for me in regards to becoming a mother and trying to cope with that and maintain my marriage, friendships, commitments...the list goes on...it was a difficult year...a "dry" year for me spiritually...I was unable to be involved in ministry like I usually am, unable to hang out all the time and it was needed for this new chapter, but there were many lonely moments...moments I cried out asking God to comfort me, but it was a needed chapter in my life in order for me to embrace the new Jess....the Mommy in me...but not just the mommy but to learn to be the Wife, the Mom, the Friend, the Leader. I still don't have it all down to a science, but I am getting there and have come a long way...it was a year full of tough times but I grew a lot and I learned a lot and I wouldn't change any of it! :)

It's a new day, a new year and there are new things in store for 2013 and I am so excited to continue in this journey called life with Jesus and my family and friends!

I know most of you follow me on Facebook, but for those that don't, I wanted to share a few pictures from the New Year! Thanks for reading and supporting my writing...love you all and Here's to the best year yet for all of us!

You are Worth More

It has been a couple of weeks since I blogged, but today I was inspired to write because my heart is hurting for a friend of mine in a horrible situation and I feel like God wants to say some things through my writing this morning. So, although my friend inspired this and although it involves a certain situation, it doesn't mean it isn't for anyone else's situation. I asked for permission to write about this before I did, so I'm not going to mention names, but I will mention details.

This situation is near and dear to my heart for many personal reasons that I will not share, but I just want to firstly say...when a man puts his hands on a woman, for ANY reason...it is NOT ok!

I will refer to my friend as "Ashley" for writing purposes.

Ashley is a beautiful, sweet girl that fell in love with a man that thinks it is ok to hurt her and put his hands on her. Ashley loves this man with everything she is and has started a family with him. This man has a hot temper and on multiple occasions here recently has punched Ashley in the face, choked her, pushed her around, and left marks on her. This breaks my heart, but it also makes me feel optimistic that WHEN Ashley gets out of this situation and let's God heal her heart and emotions, that she will be a testimony to women out there in similar situations and will one day be able to share her story and bring freedom to other people's lives. I am confident that she will get there one day because what I do know is that Ashley is a strong woman...she will be able to fight this and win...she is a great mother and will make the best decisions not only for her life, but for her kids. :)

I heard a song by 3rd Day for the first time on the way to work this morning and I do not think it was by coincidence. I feel like it speaks directly to the situation. Here's part of the lyrics:

I Need a Miracle

Late one night she started to cry and thought "He ain't coming home"
She was tired of the lies, tired of the fight
But she didn't wanna see him go
She fell on her knees and said
I haven't prayed since I was young
But "Lord above I need a miracle"

(Chorus)
Well no matter who you are
And no matter what you've done
There will come a time
When you can't make it on your own
And in your hour of desperation
Know you're not the only one
Prayin' "Lord above, I need a miracle"
I need a miracle

Here is what I feel like God wants many of us in tough situations to know and be reminded of...

 

You are not alone...God is with you
He will never leave your side
You are not in to deep and God can bring you out of your situation and circumstance and will carry you through the pain make you stronger for it
Love is not settling for anything less than someone who loves you as much as you love them
The Bible clearly states what love is..."Love is patient, love is kind... It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
If you are in any type of relationship that does not line up with what the Bible lists above, then it is not what God has for you.
He has so much more...you are worth so much more...you are beautiful in His eyes.
You deserve to be loved, cherished, and with someone who will tell you how beautiful you are...how much you mean to them...and they SHOW you with their actions that you are their Queen.
God will turn your morning into dancing, and will heal all of your scars.
The pain you are enduring at this time in your life will not last forever...You will see a brighter day...you just have to stop trying in your own strength and hand it over to God.
A new start is sometimes necessary in life, to get you to a place of true freedom and pure joy.
Nothing is impossible with God...He is holding out His hands, waiting for you to run into His arms and get the strength and wisdom needed to conquer anything thrown your way.
Let go and let God...He will never let you down...


I have been reminded today of where I would be if it wasn't for God intervening in my situation a couple of years ago and not letting me give up on life. I laid in bed with Daneil last night and just said thank you to him....for being the father he is to our son...for loving me through all my faults and treating me like a queen...for never raising his voice to me, calling me names or hurting me. It may sound corny and mushy, but I just had to tell him thank you for who he is. Guys like him are very hard to find these days and I'm so blessed to have found him. So, ladies (and gents) if you have someone in your life that treats you with respect and loves you like there is no tomorrow...don't take it for granted...and take time out of life to just step back and tell them thank you or sorry...those three words can go a long way!

When Two Become One

I know I have really not been blogging as much the days, but boy have I been busy! I will try to post more often! :)

Last night, someone submitted a topic to me for discussion and it is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart...my marriage so I had to write about it :) Here is the submission.

"What do you love about your marriage and what do you love most about being married to the love of your life? Tell those who have never been married yet, but hope to one day and give advice about marriage, the pros and cons. Just tell us about the married life."

Being married has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life, but at the same time, I'll be honest, it can be one the hardest things you will ever work at. But, once you find that one that is worth working at it with, you are set for life!

I'm just going to warn you, this is going to be a LONG post. I am going to share our story from the start and we have 8 years of history, so if you make it to the end, you rock! :)

I met Daneil shortly after I moved to Jacksonville back in 2004 at church. It is so crazy how things happened because before I moved to Jacksonville, I was so far into drugs and alcohol and in straight party mode. Living my life how I wanted to and having no purpose. My dad worked here as a Store Manager and one if his Employees (those of you that remember Kevin, he is the Employee...RIP), invited me to come to his youth group one Friday night. I had no friends in Jax and nothing to do, so I thought, why not? The day came that I was supposed to go and I almost backed out, but my mom said "go, I have a good feeling about this...what have you got to lose"...that was the best advice she gave me, because I went, gave my life to God that night and it was the start of the rest of my life. I still feel like Kevin was an Angel sent by God to save me...he is in Heaven now enjoying his reward and dancing with the Angels, but looking back and watching how God set it all up, still amazes me.

The first time I saw Daneil, he was on a pink kiddie car thing riding around the church...being an immature 17 year old boy...I thought to myself, "wow, what a loser"...but as I continued to hang out with him, we became best friends...and one night, over a bonfire, I found out he was 17 and I was 18 and that was close enough for me! I remember coming home one night from church and laying on my mom's bed with her and my brother and I didn't even know Daneil's name so I called him the "drummer boy" because he plays drums at our church. I told them, and I quote "I don't know what it is about him, but I'm going to marry that drummer boy one day". Little did I know, I was prophesying over my own life! :) We continued hanging out and were pretty much inseparable from that point on and one day as he was telling me about these girls flirting with him, I decided I had to tell him how I felt about him because I was falling for him and the moment I told him he was in shock and said he thought I was way out of his league and would never go for him. We started dating back in December 2004 and he asked me to marry him on his birthday in November 2007 while we were at my parent's house. We got married in June 2008 and we had a small, simple wedding, but it was beautiful!

Now, onto the actual topic...marriage...I won't lie to you, the first two years of our marriage were the hardest. There was a lot of attacks on our marriage and we went through some very hard times that a lot of people hopefully never have to go through in their marriage. In 2010, I was ready to walk away and throw in the towel, but every time I would try, my heart wouldn't let me. Another thing that kept me fighting was the fight I saw in my husband. He told me, "when he said "I do" I meant it" and he was not going to let us fall apart. We made a pact when we first got married that Divorce was not a part of our vocabulary. It took a lot of fight, a lot of forgiving, a lot of tears, a lot of counseling and putting God back as first priority in our marriage, but we came out on top and stronger than we were before. I have shared this at our Ladies meeting and with a few friends, but I got to the point where I had to realize...Daneil is not perfect...but he is MY perfect and I wouldn't want to share my life with anyone else.

Today, we are the parents of a beautiful baby boy and have become closer than ever and formed a bond that no man can separate. God continues to be put first and we work very hard at keeping things fresh and keeping that "chase" going. One piece of advice I would give newlyweds is to never stop the chase. Once you get married, keep yourself up, dress up from time to time just because and want to look nice for your man or woman. Just because you are married doesn't mean you don't have to try anymore...keep him/her wanting more of you! :)

To those of you that have yet to meet your prince charming/your princess or to get married...DON'T SETTLE! God has your Prince/Princess out there and is preparing him/her for you, and if you wait on him/her, you will not have a statistical marriage...you will have a love story that never ends! Don't rush it...you have plenty of time to be married...enjoy where you are now...whatever season that may be...it is just that; a season! Enjoy every piece of the puzzle that God has made for your life. Before you know it, that season will be over and I know it may sound crazy, but you will miss it one day.

Marriage is not a fairy tale...it isn't how they portray it in the movies...sometimes it is hard; really hard...a lot of the time, it is so amazing but when you share it with the one that God created for you, at the end of the day, they are worth every moment...your hard times will make you stronger...your good times will remind you of why you fell in love with them in the first place and if you both put your whole heart into it, you will never be shaken!

I thank God for Daneil every day...He has my heart, always and I am devoted to him and our marriage. What God put together, let NO MAN separate!

I love you, Daneil Hinds, and I thank you for being the man of my dreams, for loving me no matter what and for never giving up the fight for us. You are the strongest man I know and I am honored to call you my Husband! :) I wouldn't want to grow old with anyone else!

Our First KISS after the "I do"

Back in 2010 after one of the hardest times in our marriage

This picture represents SO MUCH today...the ribbon tying are hands together was BLUE...2 years before out little miracle was born! :)

Love this one! :)



Confident Momma

There was a shift in my life this weekend...and it was good! :)

I can't really put my finger on exactly what it was, but something is different. God convicted my heart this weekend on some areas in my life that I have been slacking in and although since I found out I was having Liam, I have been really excited to be a mom and loving him with my whole heart, it wasn't until this weekend that I actually "felt" like a mom to him and a new confidence just swept over me. I want to do this right! I want to raise my son loving God with everything that He is and I have to be that example to Him. Not that I have been doing a horrible job in this area, but I could have been doing better. So, last night we started a new routine. We feed Liam his last solids and a bottle, bathe him, take him to his room with lullaby's playing and either oil him down or lotion him down to relax him. Put him in his pj's, read a book and say a prayer together with Daneil and I. I know it sounds corny, but the whole process was just beautiful. Daneil and I do a really great job teaming up together and because he is such a great dad, I found that I was feeling insecure in my parenting and pulling away, letting him do most of the work instead of recognizing my weaknesses and working on them. So, this weekend I tried being more hands on and doing things myself and it worked well.

Then, last night, as we worked together to bathe him, I got him all ready for bed and then we all 3 sat together and had story time and said a bedtime prayer and Liam was so relaxed. He only slept in his crib for about 45 minutes before waking up screaming twice in a 15 minute time span, so we decided to bring him in our room in his pack-n-play and he slept the rest of the evening and was still snoozing this morning when I left. We will keep trying and we will get there!

This new found confidence of being a momma is great and I just finally feel like it is all sinking in for me. I am Liam's mother and there is no one that could be a mother to him better than I can because God gave him to me and entrusted his life with me, so it is my job to be the best I can be and raise him up in the ways of God. I know there will be times I fail and will be times that I don't feel so confident, but God gave me a scripture to lean on in those moments as I was laying in bed last night thanking Him for all I have in my life and when the enemy tries to come in and tell me different, I can remind him...It is written! :)

This brings me to one of the topics submitted that I wanted to write about today. Humility in hard times!

In my situation, I basically had to get over myself and stop feeling sorry for myself because I felt like I was "failing" at the whole motherhood thing! It was time to humble myself.

Humbling yourself, to me, means that you are willing to put others ahead of yourself. Not building your self up...especially at the expense of others and being willing to do things for people without expecting anything in return.

I had to come to a place where I acknowledged my weaknesses as a mother as well as my strengths and stop dwelling on only the weaknesses. Once I began to look at the things I'm really good at as a mom, the confidence just began to grow and still is. I read this quote recently and it really touched my heart. "True humility, is having an accurate perception of your weaknesses and your strengths, and keeping both in perspective."

Another way to look at this is Without God we can do nothing and with Him, anything is possible. If we are not trying to do things in our own strength and we leave it in God's hands and follow his leading, we are humbling ourselves, or having humility.

For example, if you are dealing with have a bad attitude towards God, or family or friends for that matter...you have to humble yourself and recognize that you do have weaknesses and hand those weaknesses over to God so that He can turn them into strengths and give you the wisdom to get through that situation. Anytime we humble ourselves before God, He will not fail us...we just have to be willing to let Him do His work in us.

Back to my story...I felt like I was not doing a good job parenting and I humbled myself before God, cried out to Him and laid it at His feet. He has given me new ways and ideas to bond with Liam and continue to feel more confident as a mom. I am so excited and refreshed about what He is going to do with me in this area and by the grace of God, I will continue to live in humility so that I am always allowing Christ to strengthen me and transform me into who He has called me to be. The choice is ours to be arrogant and stagnant or humble ourselves and flourish! :)