When the weight of the world is on your shoulders

I have had a pretty tough week this past week and I wanted to write about it so that is what this blog post is about today...

Last Wednesday, my husband and I were scheduled to leave for Orlando with our two boys to go on our Annual Disney Vacation and have a blast as we usually do. I had so many fun things planned and I think I was more excited than the kids were.

Monday of last week came around and my oldest, Liam,  woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach bug...I immediately started crying to my husband saying how I didn't want anyone else getting sick and how I was so looking forward to our vacation and I didn't want anything to take away from it. He told me I needed to just take a step back and pray and calm down...we were going to go on vacation no matter what...so I spent most of Monday night interceding and praying for Liam as well we the rest of us to stay well and it got me to pray some other things I felt led to pray for.

Tuesday was a normal day...Liam was weak and laid around but we were all good...same thing Wednesday...We headed to Orlando in the late afternoon and got to our hotel and decided to pick up dinner on the way in so we could have an early night in the hotel with movies and relaxing (I was feeling under the weather physically, like a cold was trying to come over me)...so we did just that. About 2am, my youngest, Grayson, woke up with the same stomach bug. I began to intercede again as I drove to the front office of the hotel to get new sheets for his bed. I was up most of the night, thinking and wondering what we were going to do as all of our plans that were paid for already were non-refundable. I woke up Thursday morning feeling like I had the flu along with a stomach bug...I felt terrible and couldn't get out of bed much. Daneil took control and helped out with everything so I could sleep it off. I slept most of the day our first day and felt so much better the next morning. I was able to get all of our Disney plans moved to the next day so we didn't miss anything. Some other plans still fell apart and I felt such an attack on our attempt at a relaxing getaway as a family and I broke down a few times since we don't get very many opportunities to do these things as a family and it was going opposite of how I had planned it to.

We didn't have the vacation we had planned, but we still got away together and got to see my parents so it was still a nice time and we made the best of it and brought memories back with us. :)

We got home late Saturday night and all fell into bed. Daneil had to be up very early Sunday so I didn't get to see him, but once I got up and started getting the boys and myself ready for the first preview service at the Chets North Campus, the attacks began again...at this point I felt so weak, so defeated and I didn't understand why everything was going wrong. Grayson was still dealing with symptoms from the stomach bug so as I walked out the door with them to get to church and help with setup, he had some stomach issues (that I will save you from details) but it ended up making me a lot later than I was needed and the mind games began...Satan started making me feel like I was a burden...that I was no help...and that I had no purpose and just needed to accept it. It was hard to ignore; I will not lie. I felt like everyone got to enjoy and partake on the satisfaction of the success of our first service and I was there to see all the benefits of the hard work put in.... and then I got quiet and I listened to Josh preach and he spoke on Influence...he even said "Ever wonder why everything around you seems to be going wrong? It's likely God placed you right in the middle of darkness to be a light" HOW AWESOME IS THAT? God speaks to us when we least expect it.

It was in that moment that I knew why I had been faced with what I have been faced with the past few days and made me reflect to see if I had responded the way I should have to those unfortunate circumstances. It completely changed my perspective and got me out of the funk I was in and I was in a different mindset where I knew I had purpose and I knew the world wasn't falling apart even if it felt like it. I just knew I needed to dust myself off...get back up and hold my head up high...reminding myself I am the daughter of the one true King and that even in the midst of the misery...He was there...and always would be. If only we could remember that always...

Not really sure the point of this post other than just to share that Christianity isn't always pretty...easy...or fun...and certainly isn't for the weak...but it is worth every moment, knowing that God and all of Heaven backs us up. So in those moments where Satan tries to whisper those lies in your ear that you aren't important, have no purpose and that everything goes wrong with you in your life...remind Him that you are a warrior and with God backing you up, you will conquer anything coming your way and will come out stronger in the end. God always takes care of His people...so in those moments; take heart and know He is Lord. :)