Confident Momma

There was a shift in my life this weekend...and it was good! :)

I can't really put my finger on exactly what it was, but something is different. God convicted my heart this weekend on some areas in my life that I have been slacking in and although since I found out I was having Liam, I have been really excited to be a mom and loving him with my whole heart, it wasn't until this weekend that I actually "felt" like a mom to him and a new confidence just swept over me. I want to do this right! I want to raise my son loving God with everything that He is and I have to be that example to Him. Not that I have been doing a horrible job in this area, but I could have been doing better. So, last night we started a new routine. We feed Liam his last solids and a bottle, bathe him, take him to his room with lullaby's playing and either oil him down or lotion him down to relax him. Put him in his pj's, read a book and say a prayer together with Daneil and I. I know it sounds corny, but the whole process was just beautiful. Daneil and I do a really great job teaming up together and because he is such a great dad, I found that I was feeling insecure in my parenting and pulling away, letting him do most of the work instead of recognizing my weaknesses and working on them. So, this weekend I tried being more hands on and doing things myself and it worked well.

Then, last night, as we worked together to bathe him, I got him all ready for bed and then we all 3 sat together and had story time and said a bedtime prayer and Liam was so relaxed. He only slept in his crib for about 45 minutes before waking up screaming twice in a 15 minute time span, so we decided to bring him in our room in his pack-n-play and he slept the rest of the evening and was still snoozing this morning when I left. We will keep trying and we will get there!

This new found confidence of being a momma is great and I just finally feel like it is all sinking in for me. I am Liam's mother and there is no one that could be a mother to him better than I can because God gave him to me and entrusted his life with me, so it is my job to be the best I can be and raise him up in the ways of God. I know there will be times I fail and will be times that I don't feel so confident, but God gave me a scripture to lean on in those moments as I was laying in bed last night thanking Him for all I have in my life and when the enemy tries to come in and tell me different, I can remind him...It is written! :)

This brings me to one of the topics submitted that I wanted to write about today. Humility in hard times!

In my situation, I basically had to get over myself and stop feeling sorry for myself because I felt like I was "failing" at the whole motherhood thing! It was time to humble myself.

Humbling yourself, to me, means that you are willing to put others ahead of yourself. Not building your self up...especially at the expense of others and being willing to do things for people without expecting anything in return.

I had to come to a place where I acknowledged my weaknesses as a mother as well as my strengths and stop dwelling on only the weaknesses. Once I began to look at the things I'm really good at as a mom, the confidence just began to grow and still is. I read this quote recently and it really touched my heart. "True humility, is having an accurate perception of your weaknesses and your strengths, and keeping both in perspective."

Another way to look at this is Without God we can do nothing and with Him, anything is possible. If we are not trying to do things in our own strength and we leave it in God's hands and follow his leading, we are humbling ourselves, or having humility.

For example, if you are dealing with have a bad attitude towards God, or family or friends for that matter...you have to humble yourself and recognize that you do have weaknesses and hand those weaknesses over to God so that He can turn them into strengths and give you the wisdom to get through that situation. Anytime we humble ourselves before God, He will not fail us...we just have to be willing to let Him do His work in us.

Back to my story...I felt like I was not doing a good job parenting and I humbled myself before God, cried out to Him and laid it at His feet. He has given me new ways and ideas to bond with Liam and continue to feel more confident as a mom. I am so excited and refreshed about what He is going to do with me in this area and by the grace of God, I will continue to live in humility so that I am always allowing Christ to strengthen me and transform me into who He has called me to be. The choice is ours to be arrogant and stagnant or humble ourselves and flourish! :)