Heavy heart...

Do you ever feel lonely?
Do you ever feel like you don't fit in anywhere?
Do you ever feel like you have no idea where your life is taking you and would pay money to find out?
Do you ever feel pressure to "perform" and have it all together?
Do you ever wish you could see the whole puzzle and skip the whole "not knowing" process?
Do you ever feel like no one understands where you are or how you feel?


I do. I have been feeling a lot of these things recently and have been asking God to reveal His heart to me. Sometimes the hardest times in life are those that you are putting all of your faith and trust in God and allowing Him to lead you into your next season. Sometimes, I want to give up, sometimes I want to do my own thing and forget about waiting on Him...but then, just before I decide to do things in my own strength, God shows up. He gives me the strength and hope I need to press on...to keep my eye on the prize and to just be still and know He is God.

The past two weeks have been the toughest for me as far as trying to find my place in this new life I have as being a mommy. But, as I continue to press in, trust God and make him priority; He continues to comfort me, and slowly reveal where He is taking me. I'm excited and although there have been many moments of tears and loneliness, I know God is doing something big and my mourning will turn into dancing. I will not give up...I will not be shaken!

He has spoken through so many people in my life recently and assured me I am on the right path...my dreams are not shattered...I am just moving into a new season and it is going to be even more amazing than the last. I cannot long for the old season or feel bad for one season coming to an end, but I have to embrace the new and be confident that God knows what he is doing and when one door closes, another will open. It's very hard when you only have pieces to the puzzle and you want to put it all together, but I have to allow God to put those pieces together for me.

He also reminded me:

I'm never alone, for He is always with me.
I do fit in with the body of Christ, and this is just a part of the transition
He will reveal to me where He is taking me and as long as I keep my eyes on Him will not lead me astray
I can be who I am in His presence. I don't have to succumb to pressure. I just need to follow His voice and leading.
I walk by faith and not by sight, and the process is what makes the final puzzle that much greater
He understands my heart and exactly how I feel and He is my comforter, my strength and my joy!

I wouldn't want to imagine my life without Him...he is truly amazing and my best friend in this life. I have to stop putting so much pressure on myself and learn to embrace the process...He knows much better than I do what is best for me, His daughter, His princess...and I trust Him.